You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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