just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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