What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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