You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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