So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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