i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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