just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize