Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
