Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
