can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
