His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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