Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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