I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
