Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids