Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.