Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(760): View more from California

What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo

(619): View more from California

Cremation, why do you ask?

(760): View more from California

I think we have a bit of a problem

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo (619): Cremation, why do you ask? (760): I think we have a bit of a problem http://tfl.nu/6d26

Replies (15) Good night (1179) Bad night (1635)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

(1-209): View more from California

yes...dear jesus what did you do?

(209): View more from California

bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf

Replies (56) Good night (4909) Bad night (916)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream http://tfl.nu/eta2

Replies (28) Good night (2702) Bad night (7095)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her. http://tfl.nu/6ypm

Replies (50) Good night (18016) Bad night (1220)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ. http://tfl.nu/zyza

Replies (13) Good night (3376) Bad night (1058)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk. http://tfl.nu/e4bz

Replies (12) Good night (973) Bad night (4229)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved. http://tfl.nu/qhmk

Replies (5) Good night (865) Bad night (668)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right? http://tfl.nu/u00i

Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (991)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night. http://tfl.nu/xja7

Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (605)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals http://tfl.nu/zqc1

Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (306)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy

Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (683)
Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/3k7r

Replies (7) Good night (882) Bad night (314)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink. http://tfl.nu/k5ex

Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (399)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago http://tfl.nu/7mtt

Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (450)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun. http://tfl.nu/gqms

Replies (2) Good night (236) Bad night (582)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: