her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.