WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish I only lived at night.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
