3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
