dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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