its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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