i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
