You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
