respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
