True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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