Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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