You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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