My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
