If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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