if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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