Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
