On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
