That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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