I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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