What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
