watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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