so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
