GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
