Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
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