We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He shit in the fireplace
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
