K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
