I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize