they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
