Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
