i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
