we have officially lost it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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