Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
