she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
