i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
