You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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