Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize