When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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