I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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