very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize