I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
false alarm, still single
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
