Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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