You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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