he thought i was a dude.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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