you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
