Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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