pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Two words: blizzard sex
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
