Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
