i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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