yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
