its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
