"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
