i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever