Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
whose ass print is on the piano?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.