Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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