You smell like a Billy Joel song
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
